Many of the people I’ve talked to about Narcissistic abuse start by telling me that they feel it’s their fault, or that they’ve done something to deserve the abuse. I tell them quite frankly, this is nonsense. Nobody deserves this kind of abuse. And they didn’t deserve it. And neither do you. But you can and must find the path to healing. So here are four things I want you to realize, as you begin your journey to healing. Your sanity, and your psychological wellbeing, depends on it.
1. It is not your fault, and you are in no way to blame.
2. NPD is a mental illness. The narc is the sick one, NOT you.
3. You can heal and it doesn’t need to take years
4. You will find love, joy, happiness and infinite self-worth again.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is toxic, it destroys your self-worth, self-image, and your life. But you can recover, you can regain everything you thought you’d lost, and more. Because the truth is, who you are inside is what’s important. You are not what happened to you.
You are a unique individual with tremendous value and worth, and you just need to bring yourself back to the truth of that. You deserve love, respect, happiness, joy… so if you’re watching this now, I want you to really HEAR these words and let them sink in. Start right now by telling yourself that you WILL get over this. That you’re not going to be beaten by a person with a mental disorder. Affirm to yourself right now – say it out loud ‘I’m the sane one here! I’m not buying into his/or her BS anymore!’…
Just thinking like this will shift you out of the ‘victim’ mode. My work is all about empowering women to take back their power, and doing that starts with how you are talking to yourself, and what you believe about yourself. You can change your thoughts in an instant, and before long, you can change your beliefs.
So remember these 4 important tips if you are just learning about NPD for the first time.
5. It is not your fault, and you are in no way to blame.
6. NPD is a mental illness. The narc is the sick one, NOT you.
7. You can heal and it doesn’t take years
8. You will find love, joy, happiness and infinite self-worth again.
Take a few moments to write these down and refer to them often – several times a day if need be. The healing starts with planting these little seeds.